Stop Settling, Start Swiping Right (on Jesus): 5 Christian Dating Non-Negotiables You Need Before You Catch Feelings

Because God doesn’t want you spiritually hangry, heartbroken, or stuck in a “situationship” with a semi-saved somebody.

Let’s keep it real, fam. If you’ve ever tried Christian dating and ended up praying, “Lord, how did I get here?”—you are not alone! Our girl, Texas Brown Sugar, spilled the holy tea on Relationship Realities, and y’all, she’s been there, done that, and has the heartbreak AND the T-shirt. But guess what? She’s giving us five biblical deal-breakers (not just “helpful tips”—like, these are carved-in-stone Moses-level essentials) to keep us out of spiritual quicksand and save us from handing our hearts to the wrong one. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible—and maybe a snack—because we’re about to dive in!

1. Believer or Make-Believer? (Stop Ignoring Red Flags)

Let’s kick it off with the absolute “duh” that so many of us still fumble: They. Must. Be. A. Believer. 2 Corinthians 6:14 isn’t saying your standards are too high when you want someone who actually believes Jesus is more than a bumper sticker. Texas Brown Sugar spells it out—dating an unbeliever is like two oxen pulling a cart in different directions. You think you’re both going to Chick-fil-A, but he’s veering off toward Taco Bell. Eventually, your faith is starving and you’re stuck in a ditch.

Those “Oh, he’s just open-minded… she’s spiritual, not religious” excuses? Sis, that’s like saying you’re fine with a car that has no gas—cute, but ain’t nobody moving. If someone can’t clearly answer “When did you give your life to Jesus?” or “How has He changed you?”, don’t gaslight yourself. Walk away—not because you’re holier-than-thou, but because your future is precious!

2. Salvation Story Time

Next up, they need a real testimony. “I grew up in the church” is not a salvation story—that just means you perfected the Sunday nap. We need to hear about their meeting-Jesus-for-real moment. If their testimony sounds like a resume (“My family is Christian… my grandma prays a lot”), pump those brakes. Ask what their life was like before Christ, what changed, and how it’s different now.

Why? Because you cannot build a Christ-centered relationship on someone else’s inherited faith. If they can’t “clearly tell you that, fam, you can’t clearly build a life with them.”

3. Growing or Ghosting? Spiritual Gym Check

Here’s where people start sweating: Are they growing? Not, “Did they get saved in 2003,” but do you see actual spiritual muscles now? Bible says salvation is the starting line, not the finish. Do they repent when they mess up? Are they plugged into church (not just watching YouTube sermons while scrolling Instagram)? Are they stretching, learning, serving, putting in work?

If you’re the one dragging them to church while they do “devotionals” during commercial breaks, prepare for spiritual exhaustion. If there’s no evidence of growth, you’ll end up carrying a grown adult like a backpack. Trust me, your back (and soul) will ache.

4. Doctrine Drama or Divine Alignment?

This one sneaks up: Are y’all on the same page about the big stuff? You both say “I’m Christian”—but what does that mean? If your partner’s idea of salvation is “all roads lead to God” and you’re all in for “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15), bae… those roads are going in opposite directions.

Have the uncomfortable convos before feelings get loud. Talk beliefs on salvation, scripture, Jesus, kids, money—the foundations. Don’t argue your way to compromise just because “the vibe is nice.” If the foundation ain’t the same, the house WILL tilt.

5. Purity Isn’t Optional

Whew, we really goin’ there! If they’re not serious about purity—physically and in their heart—they’re not ready for a godly relationship. “If you really love me, you’d…?” No, sir. That’s your cue to exit stage left. Someone who truly honors you will guard your heart and body, not test your boundaries.

It’s not about being “less fun” or “too churchy.” It’s about aligning with God’s best for you and refusing to sell yourself short for a temporary thrill.

Final Blessing & Pep Talk

Y’all, God’s standards protect, not punish. Don’t let culture convince you your checklist means you’re picky—it means you know your worth! The right one will bring you closer to Jesus, not pull you away. So before your next situationship, run the checklist: Believer. Clear testimony. Spiritual growth. Aligned doctrine. Purity commitment.

If anything is blurry, it’s okay to walk away. The person God has for you will never make you choose between them and Jesus. Keep waiting, keep praying, keep preparing—‘cause that’s the kind of love worth waiting for!

Ready to stop settling? Drop your “dating fail” story in the comments and let’s build a community that chooses faith over feelings every time. You got this, fam!